What I Learned At College

One of the most amusing things I liked to do randomly these past years was to call up my dad and say something along the lines of, "Hey, I learned something today! I learned _____." To which he would respond somewhat sarcastically, "Well I certainly hope we're sending you to college to learn something!"

Now that I have actually graduated from college, I am finding myself reflecting on these past four years. I have grown and learned a lot. As I think about it, much of what I have learned is hard to pin point to specific things. I did not learn a trade. I did not learn calculus or how to build a house. I have learned to write well. I have learned to critically think and do research. I have learned to work with people. Much of what I have learned at college does not necessarily revolve around facts and figures. It is based upon the experiences I have had and the people I have met.

1. People are who they are for reasons.
Everyone has a story. Do not judge. One of the more profound concepts I learned when I was first came to college was in a Marriage and Family class I took. I remember distinctly thinking, "I am 18 years old and know more about families than at least 1/2 of the countries population." The cycles of families is something which impressed me greatly. If you are from a divorced family, the probability of you getting divorced goes up tremendously. You parent the way you were parented. It makes sense. It the same with addictive behavior and medical conditions. If your dad died of a heart attack the predisposition toward such a medical condition is likely in you. Breaking cycles of abuse and dysfunction has to be intentional. Healthy relationships have to be intentional to make them work. That having been said, people are the way they are for reasons. If a person is controlling, there is an underlying issue. If someone cannot communicate, there is a reason. If someone is a basket-case, there is a reason. Too often we take people at face value and say "that is just how they are." No! Oftentimes behavior is a cry for help and also a symptom of a deeper issue. We as Christians cannot be judging people but when faced with difficult people need to pray to God that we can see the heart of the matter and help people. The breakdown of the family is an epidemic in America and the greatest cause of violence and the vast majority of problems in America. Things like: the percentage of people in jail from single-parent families is staggering. (end of that soap box)

2. We are called to service
Some of my greatest experiences of college were in extracurricular activities. For several of my classes we were required to do community service hours. Also with the clubs I was in we were involved with service activities. I volunteered at a school. I volunteered at a day care. (And was asked if a 3 year old was my child.) We went to nursing homes. We went to missions. We went to government housing. I was able to be involved with a lot of outreaches and this stretched me and was the source of great joy. Eventually I joined the Bible Workers Club and was involved in a Bible study which I think ministered more to me than to the lady. They were all great experiences! There is certainly blessing in serving others. It opens our eyes to the needs around us. It will be my challenge to look for these opportunities wherever I am and find what God has in store for me to help others in specific ways.

3. We are called to study
I admit it, I loved school. I honestly can't think of a class which I particularly did not like at all. Certainly there were some that I preferred more than others but I learned every class and gained something which is useful to life. From Shakespeare to Greek to Biology, it's been a joy! God wants us to take advantage of the resources and opportunities we have. The more educated we are the more diverse people we are able to reach for Him. While certainly the Bible and inspired writings need to be the heart of everything we do, we need to be well-rounded people and be interested in the life around us. I don't ever want to stop learning about people and the world which God has created.

4. We are called to be responsible
One of the burdens of school has been group work. When looking at a syllabus for a class and discovering some group project I would inwardly groan. Inevitably someone in the group would not do their work and usually someone like myself would take it upon themselves to do their work. It was always such an ordeal. I was responsible in school. I wanted to do my best in whatever I had to do. I don't want to lose that. However, there are other areas of life which my responsibility lacks. I can be extremely lazy and unmotivated when I have no accountability. By God's grace, I will overcome these areas and learn to be responsible in all areas of life even when it seems no one is watching. Cause, after all, He is.

5. We need relationships
Some of the most profound insights to myself and people in general are the results of relationships: whether male/female or friends. We are all so different. Whether personality types or backgrounds. I admit, it can be a huge struggle to understand some people. But I think in doing so, we discover so much about God. We are made to be together to reveal Christ's character together.

I have certainly learned more than just these points. I could talk about social norms, neurons in the brain, Daniel 4, different religions, history of native americans, yadda yadda. But I think these 5 points transcend the specifics. God has been so good. I am so grateful.

Today I felt the roughness of tree bark under my hand.

I felt the breeze in my hair.

I felt the cool grass under my bare feet.

And the soft delicate petal of a dogwood bloom.

I reveled in the bright beauty of an azalea bush.

I noticed the long shadows left by the setting sun.

I smelled the freshness of a new green leaf.

I noticed two birds chasing each other on the horizon.

I felt the sunshine on my face.

And the Son in my heart.

Thank you, Lord, for your reminders of love.


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Plans

Is it not funny how life can change instantaneously? You wait for months for something to happen and then >bam<, within 30 minutes there it is. Or you wait to meet someone and then >bam<, out of the blue there they are. Or you are unsure what you're doing and then >bam<, within 24 hours you get your answer. And is it not also funny how oftentimes, or usually, the answer is not what you hoped it would be, or imagined it would be, yet it is for the better because you know God orchestrated it?

Maybe funny is not the right word. The word could be aggravating, annoying, ironic, unnerving, or any other such negative word. But I prefer funny. Because when we look back, that is usually what we do: laugh.

Wall of Fame

My face is going to be on a wall. No, not a "most wanted" sign. My face will be on a plaque and displayed in a case in Hackman Hall. The words "outstanding scholastic achievement" will be near my picture. Along with a few other of my classmates, our faces will join the faces of other students gone before us who excelled while at Southern. It really is an honor to be part of that wall in Hackman hall. Until the Lord comes or some disaster strikes the school, a record of my time at Southern will be recorded on that wall. I excelled and attained "outstanding scholastic achievement" during my time at Southern.

But what in the world does that mean? One could say that the past 17 years of education are what led to a plaque and recognition for a scholastic achievement. From Kindergarten to a Senior in college, I have done very well. "Well done, Lorrie, you have done an outstanding job." Why thank you. I appreciate it. I really do. I am grateful for the journey I have been able to take through the halls of acadamia. But attaining "outstanding scholastic achievement" really gives me no bragging rights. It does not guarantee me a job. It does not guarantee me anything. Perhaps it is a sentence to put on my resume. Maybe it will give me a boost if I go to Grad School. But it may not as well. Scholastics is not experience.

As I reflect on my face on the wall, I guess I do approach the feat a bit cynically. I suppose it is a big deal? And I do care. I am very thankful. It is an honor. But I am not bursting with joy. Perhaps it is the realization of an end of a journey. Perhaps it is the uncertainty of future plans.

Perhaps it is because I was not trying to get on the wall. If I did not win the honor and get my face on the wall I would not have cried a tear. I have never had ambitions of glory, I have just always tried to do my best. I have studied and listened. I have taken notes and researched. I have gone to class every day and done what the syllabus said to do.

I guess I realize that if it were not for the first 5 years of my life before stating this long academic journey that the past 17 years of success in school would not have been possible. Psychologists say that in the first 6 years of life the majority of your personality and disposition is solidified. So who you were in Kindergarten is most likely very similar to the way you are today.

So I really owe that plaque to my parents and to God. I would not be on that wall if it were not to them. Now obviously I am not a cookie-cutter product of people but by submitting to God my parents have raised me the way they have. By submitting to God I have been able to do my best in school with the gifts He has given me.

So when I walk down that aisle in less than 3 weeks with my honor cords and flowing gown, I will be proud. I will be proud of the success that we have achieved. And I will pray that this knowledge within will produce a servant of Him in the future. After all, I owe Him everything.

A Tale of Tori

There once was a girl named Tori* who lived in the state of NY. Over Christmas that year she had a grand ole’ time but during that vacation something unfortunate happened. Her father got sick. Her mother got sick and then her brother got sick. But Tori didn’t get sick. She denied that it was a possibility. “I never get sick” she prided herself and tried to ignore the slight cough she started to develop. Tori was relieved when she went back to school. “Tennessee may not be warm in January “she said “but it is a lot warmer than home”. However Tori’s cough continued and to her astonishment it got worse. “I don’t understand” she thought each day when she would catch her breath after a good cough. Several weeks after getting back Tori realized how cold it was in her room. It was So Cold. Sitting on her bed which is in front of the window she looked around and noticed how much colder it was at that specific part of her room. Then she saw something. “Aha!” Her window, though closed and locked had a crack all along the front. Putting her hand there she felt the cold air wafting in to the room. “No wonder I am coughing. This is what I am breathing every night as I sleep.” So Tori, being the sensible girl that she is, made haste to cover that window up good and tight. “Ah, now I will get better,” Tori thought.

But she didn’t. In fact she got worse. In time she developed a fever and sniffles to add to her cough. Tori even moved her mattress to the living room and slept there to not infect her roommate. Tori did not understand what was going on.

Now this seems like a sad tale but it illustrates some important points which we as Christians need to be careful of. Tori was sleeping next to the means of her illness. She was oblivious to the fact that she was essentially cuddling up to what was making her sick. How much do we in our own lives subject ourselves to the influences of sinful behaviors without our conscious knowing? If Tori had just been observant she would have noticed the window right in front of her which was letting in that cold air. What do we have in our lives- like a window- which is not in itself- bad but what it can let through that produces evil? Computers- something Tori tends to waste a lot of time on-books, relationships, frivolous things- are they influencing you for the right or for the wrong?

Tori had a weakness when she was coming back to school since she had been exposed to her family’s sickness. This weakness got exploited by the faulty window. So Satan knows our weaknesses and takes advantage of our often oblivious natures. We need to be alert and conscious of what is in our lives and our predispositions. We need to have our attention on examining our hearts that we be ready for the Christ to come every day.

Tori did not immediately get well after she discovered the problem. In fact she got worse. The damage had been done. She had to reap the consequences. So we have to reap the consequences of sin and often times they are much more tragic than a cough. This should cause us to be cautious.

Tori finally had to leave the room of her initial illness. She had to separate herself from the situation so that she didn’t spread the illness. Sometimes we have to make decisions to separate ourselves entirely from influences that cause us to turn our attention from that which is of God. This sometimes may seem trivial as banning yourself from YouTube for a couple weeks like Tori did once. After all, the small if not dealt with often becomes much larger.

What Tori would like you to get from her sad story is that we need to be intentional in our walk with Christ. Whatever takes our attention and affections from Christ should be removed from our lives. We need to call sin by its name and flee from it. Sin is like an illness. It takes advantage of our weak moments and creeps in to our lives unawares. When we see it we need to block it, get rid of it and move away from it.

Ephesians 5: 15-17 reads, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.”

*resemblance to a familiar name is entirely intentional

Christmas Tree Thoughts

A family Christmas tree set up anew each year. White lights, pine smell, brings life to the room. 

Decorations speak of the family living here. Interests, hobbies, and life events are recorded amongst the limbs. 

A wedding from seeming so long ago. Young faces, beautiful cake. 25 years later, so much and so fast. 

A boy is evidenced. A train, comic characters, all declare a little boy. Absence of later years speak of absence more far-reaching. Grown up and living far away. He's here this year. Fondness touches that which he used to cherish. 

A little girl in girlish charm is seen all around. Cats and angels, snowflakes and dolls. Christmas is her favorite time. A young woman now puts up these charms in sentimental care. Holding to what she knows, keeping them in her sight. The future stands with open arms, yet she looks back with heavy heart. 

A trumpet, a cross, kindergarten crafts, beautiful gifts and treasures hang amongst the needles. As if to soften their likely prick. 

What is this Christmas tree we always take pains to search for, cut down and drag home? Set up. Is it straight? Untangle the lights and perhaps buy new. Search for the blown out bulb. Keep the water supplied. Is it just a tradition? Some would say so. 

For the once little girl it is very special. Memories of carefree days. Family together, sharing memories, making new. The years are now becoming different, the worries different than what they once were. Next year perhaps there will be an ornament to remember this year. Put up with tender thought. What will it tell of and where will we be?

My Family

I belong to a small family. I have one older brother. I have one uncle. I have no first cousins. I have a bunch of great aunts but I never see them. And there is more extended family out there but again, I never see them. However, I am so blessed with the closeness of my immediate family.

If I were to describe my father the first word which pops in to my head is faithful. My dad is a faithful man in everything which he does. He is calm and he is responsible. My dad is a man of a routine. He is like clockwork. One of the ways which this routine has affected me is seeing the consistency of his spiritual life. The first thing he does when he gets out of bed every morning is kneel to pray. After he does his lesson, he kneels to pray. Whenever he visits the church during the week, before he leaves, he goes in to the sanctuary to kneel and pray. I cannot express what an impression that made to me as I was growing up. My dad is a consistent man. I have never seen him angry. He is calm and rational. He is a peace-maker. And he also has a very unique sense of humor. I get my even-keel temperament from my dad.

My mother is a loving woman. She is one of my best friends. We can talk for hours. She and my interests are much alike. We love history, stories, and studying people. The frustrations I have had in college, she had when she was my age as well. She is close to her parents and is sentimental. She loves to read and would prefer this with a cat on her lap. I share that opinion. My mother wants the best for me and she has absolute faith in my abilities. That faith in me has been a motivator at key points in my life.

I absolutely love my brother. Growing up he was my defender and my protector. As we hit the teenage years we became much more expressive of our care toward each other. My brother knows me in a way which no other person on this earth knows me. I find it awesome that usually the longest human relationship one has during their lives is usually a sibling. I will be very content if my brother and I get to share that experience. My brother is an eccentric individual. He is the most open-minded person I know. He is accepting and tolerant. And man, he is smart. He graduated from college Summa Cum Laude. He would make a good diplomat and who knows, he may be that someday. One of my grandma's favorite stories of my brother and I when we were little goes like this: My brother was probably 5 or so and was sitting on the step of their house. I would have been about 3. Apparently we had some sort of disagreement and I went over to my brother and said something along these lines, "Roger, you know I love. I'm going to marry you some day!"

My mother's parents are part of my being. I've lived down the road from them my whole life. Being home includes being with them. My grandmother is the most beautiful woman I know. I love her positive outlook on life and her ability to laugh at problems. She is strong: physically and mentally. I have spent many hours sitting and talking to her. It pains me to see her and my grandfather getting older. Growing up their home was filled with delight and warmth. And food. She is the most amazing cook I have ever known. My grandfather spoiled my brother and I tremendously when we were small. He is one of the most ingenuous people I have ever met. They both love animals and nature. Again, it makes me very sad to see the effects of age on their abilities. I have often wished I could go back in time and see them at my age. Part of my love of history comes from the love of wanting to see what life was experienced during the time of my older relatives.

My father's mother is a character. She has been a widow for at least 30 years. Trips to her house were always filled with food, shopping, and enjoyment. She loves baseball and used to golf. My father and her have a Yankees- Red Sox rivalry which is highly amusing. She, like my father, is a consistent, faithful individual. She has looked after my uncle who has mental problems for over 40 years. She is tremendously generous. I think she would do anything for us if she could. She is so proud of my brother and I.


I was thinking about my family today. It seems that we are much more quick to be angry, short, rude and resentful towards members of our family than anyone else. Why this is, I'm not sure. Probably because we figure that they have to love us. However, our families have created us to be who we are. They sustain us. They are our support. Therefore I wanted to write this blog about the good qualities of my close family. I don't want to immediately think of what irritates me when I think of any of them- I want to first think of what wonderful people they are and how much they have done for me. They have given me everything. If I can remember that, then everything else will fall in to perspective.

(images: http://or.ucr.edu/images/pictures/centers/FamilyStudies.jpg, http://www.donnabellas.com/image2/family/daddy-girl-brunette.jpg, http://www.prescriptiondrugalternative.com/images/Headings/baby_mom.jpg, http://www.olga-art.info/gal/fineart/Brother%20and%20sister.jpg,
http://fatihiraz.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/0512171356395thankful_prayer.jpg )