Friday, June 22, 2007

I have a problem, a dilemma, a thorn in my flesh which I have strove against for years. I have a problem with sleep. Now, it’s not that I don’t like sleep. I love to sleep! In fact it is about my favorite time of day: that moment of lying back in a blissful rest, the subconscious starts to sweep over is wonderful! No, I love to sleep. It's not that I have insomnia. I get tired like a normal person to head to my bed at the appropriate hours. It's the going-to-sleep part that I get hung up on. It is difficult for me to get to sleep. Noise keeps me awake. I have diagnosed my problem and as many problems do, it goes back to my childhood. I was raised in a two story house. The bedrooms were upstairs and the floors were all carpeted. People would get up, do their business in the bathroom, dress and then putter downstairs. And the other residents would sleep in peace. However two year ago my family moved to this new house. It's a very nice house but it is one floor with a basement. My room is next to the office and across from my parent's, down the hall from the kitchen and the floors are largely wooden. And I hear everything! My father is inherantly a noisy person. He doesn't close doors, he slams them. And he doesn't discriminate on the type of door: normal door, microwave door, medicine cabinet door, they are all closed with a forceful bang. He doesn't realize this ofcourse, whatever his hand finds to do it does in a forceful manner. So I awaken in the mornings to the sounds of thumping, slamming or talking in the office next to me, all amplified it seems by the wooden floors. To say it is frustrating is an understatement. As my parents get up earlier than I, usually I awaken and go back to sleep 3 or 4 times before I finally arise. I sleep better in a dorm of 400 girls than in a house of 4 people. Isn't that tragic?

Now my sleeping problem doesn't restrict itself to the house. I can count the times I have fallen asleep in a car on one hand and I think those were times I was ill. Buses are no better. On my senior class trip we went to Florida. While I had the seat to myself I did not sleep on the entire way down from Pa and we drove straight. It becomes agonizing because I do want to sleep during these times. The only times I have been able to sleep in a bus are times when I have been able to stretch out on the floor. I have to be lying down. Planes? hah! I flew at 2am from Ecuador overnight to Texas and the entire way I could not sleep. I tried, I really did but it is just so difficult for me to be comfortable and noise always seems to find me.

The reason I was thinking of this is because today we leave for NY Camp Meeting and I know I will encounter my sleep problems as I am sharing a room with my mother snores horrendously. I sleep through it at home but it becomes more difficult in a confined environment. I will get used to it after a couple days but I know that tonight I will toss and turn. It is my lot in life.

There are many ways to handle a problem such as mine. I can become angry. This happens often. I can yell about our house being a barn and become resentful. However this is no good. No one is intentionally making it so I can't sleep. I can roll over and try to ignore the problem. Sometimes this is best. But the best way is to politely make the problem known and do my best to safeguard my room against noise.

Jesus understands our problems - no matter how insignificant they seem and He always sympathizes and cares. I was thinking how He sometimes often spent a lot of the night in prayer. I try to do that now when I have a hard time sleeping and usually after awhile......I do fall asleep.