Autumn Leaves

I love the Autumn. I have especially loved being up in the north this year for Autumn. I have loved going for walks in the crisp air. I have loved getting cozy in my bed as the nights have gotten cooler. Autumn brings back memories of raking leaf piles and then leaping and lying in them. It brings memories of buying cider from a road-side stand near where we lived when I was younger. There was Autumn of sorts down in Tennessee but it is just different here in the North. It is longer and more brilliant. I have enjoyed so much gazing out the window of my office at the hillside and observing the changing colors.

However, today as I look out most of the trees are bare. There is a sprinkling of golden leaves but for the most part, the leaves have fallen and Autumn seems to be coming to a close. It is November after all. A few weeks will be Thanksgiving and when I was a child, coming back from my grandma's house in Massachusetts after Thanksgiving I was always excited to come home and put up Christmas decorations. I was ready for the next season! Perhaps because I am older and life is changing as well as the seasons, I can not help but be melancholy as I gaze at the bare trees outside my window.

There is excitement in change. It is exciting to see the brilliant colors. It is exciting to watch the green turn to red, orange, or yellow. But the excitement fades as all the leaves eventually turn to brown. They will fall from the tree and are no more.

Job 14:2 says about man, "He springs up like a flower and withers away; like a fleeting shadow, he does not endure." We can compare our lives to the changing of the leaves. In the grand scheme of time we have just a moment. What will we make of that moment? We grow, mature, and then fade.

Just as I admire the beauty in the leaves, may the Lord look at my life and smile. In Him is meaning and in Him is life. "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full," (John 10:10). Let us be beautiful for Jesus.

http://www.shopperati.com/Slideshow/p7ssm_img_12/fullsize/autumn_leaves.jpg

A Grandma's Love; A Savior's Love

A few weekends ago was my grandfather's 90th birthday. Some time ago my grandma was telling me that she wanted to have a party for him. I thought it was a nice idea but I wanted to say, "Are you sure?" My grandpa has dementia and quite honestly, I was sure that he would not even know that it was his birthday. On Sabbath which was his actual birthday, we had potluck after church and when my grandma brought out a cake and started singing, my grandpa just looked ahead blankly then looked surprised when he heard his name. He didn't know it was his birthday. Sunday was his party. We had family members come and a few others. Everyone had a pleasant time but most of the time my grandpa sat quietly. I knew he didn't quite know what was going on. He may not have known who everyone was.

I watched my grandma during this time. She was beaming at my grandpa when she brought him his cake. I watched her touch his shoulder when posing for pictures. I read the card she gave my grandpa. It said "I love you so very much" and was underlined several times. My grandma wanted my grandpa to have a nice birthday so badly. I felt bad because it just could not be the way that my grandma wanted. My grandpa could not give my grandma what she wanted. In their relationship now, I am sure that my grandpa is not able to carry on conversations and give my grandma the support that he used to give her. It is not his fault. It is just the way it is.

I see Jesus in my grandma. I see Him in her unending love for my grandpa though he is not able to return what she gives him. I see Jesus in my grandma's desire for him to be happy. I see Him in her loyalty to my grandpa.

Just like my grandpa can now never give back to my grandma in the way she gives to him, we are not able and never will be able to give back to the Lord for what He has given to us. "While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Jesus knew we could not repay Him. He knew there was no way we could ever give back what He deserves to be given. Yet He still loves us, still wants to be with us, and still wants to give us His life. He died for us! What an amazing God!

Goose Sanctuary

Sanctuary can be defined as “a consecrated place,” or “a place of refuge or protection.” I think of a sanctuary of a church. It is to be a special place, a place to draw closer to God. A place of peace. A place for reflection and consecration. I think we should all have a personal sanctuary; a special place to direct the thoughts to the Lord. Whenever I am home and the weather is nice, I have a sanctuary. In the fields surrounding my house I like to wander. These fields are places of peace and tranquility. They are a place to get away. There are no distractions out there other than the workings of nature. To the sound of the breeze, the calls of geese, the chirp of crickets, my thoughts can focus on the Lord.

Tonight I went to the fields just as the sun was setting and the Sabbath hours were descending on the day. In the long shadows of the setting sun I wandered. I prayed for anyone who came to my mind. I prayed for situations I am in. And I was still. I sat down in the grass, surrounded by Queen Anne’s lace and clover. I stared down at the pond that is below the field and watched the geese flock. They are headed away from here as the days are getting cooler. In long V’s many geese flew over. As they did I heard the calls of the geese that were landed at the pond. It was as if they were calling to one another. “We are down here if you want to land. It is safe here.” It was interesting that as the sky darkened, more geese landed at the pond rather than traveling to farther waters. I wonder, if the geese who were landed there already did not call, would the geese in the air know to land there? I cannot get into the mind of a goose but I like to think that those geese that were at the pond first were taking care to let any other goose around know that this pond was safe; that it is a good place to land.

I could not help but think of our lives as Christians. We have found a place, a Person, of safety. We have a refuge in the Lord. All around us are people searching, traveling for safety. Like the geese, if we do not call out, who may not find safety? Who may not find what they are looking for? We may be safe, we may be saved. But who is around us? Will they be saved? Who do we need to be reaching out for, calling out? It was getting dark when I went inside, but the geese were still calling out, seemingly into the darkness. It may seem that we’re calling out into the darkness, “Put your lives in Jesus’ hands! Look what I have found!” But our sight is limited. We cannot always see who is out there; who is struggling along and hearing the call.

I thank the Lord for the geese! I thank the Lord for the lessons all around us that He has given to us. I thank the Lord for His grace and mercy. And I pray that my life will be calling out to all those around me, "Jesus saves! Come to Him!"

A Prayer

Lord, take my tears.
Make them an ocean,
An ocean of Your love.

Take my cries.
Make them a mighty shout,
Proclaiming Your grace to save.

Take my aching heart.
Make it a burden,
A burden to do Your work.

Take my thoughts.
Make them a vision,
That I may see how to reach Your children.

Take my wishes.
Make them Your dreams,
Dreams beyond my human mind.

Take my heart,
Lord I pray.

Make me closer to Your design.

A Post, an Update

I feel like I should write a post. It has been a while. Life is quite different than the last post which was from Central America. I am not residing in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania. More specifically, as the task force dean (girls', obviously) at Blue Mountain Academy.

But I don't really want to talk about that. Things are fine. They could be better. But it is the beginning of the year still and Lorries have to adjust to things. So I am adjusting and submitting. Growing and learning, by His grace.

Family- they are fine. My grandpa turns 90 in a month. My brother comes home from Europe in a little less than 2 months. Parents are fine. etc. There isn't much to say there.

Friends. Well, it is an adjustment to not be at Southern. I do miss the people of Southern. There have been some lonely moments here. People my age are very few and far between. I miss coming home to my apartment with my girl-pals and discussing the day. I do miss my friends. But I do have suport here at BMA with the other deans and staff. It is just different support. I am in touch with friends and have a wonderful boyfriend. It is different than it has ever been. But God is good. He has not left me without relationships.

Money- I don't have much. But I have a car, phone, food and shelter. Amen!

Today as I write this I am tired and the sky outside is dreary. I have a desire to eat lemon poppyseed bread but I have none. It's been a bit of a down day. I miss my cat and being at home. But I am thankful. Thankful for the beauty of spying a few leaves that are turning autumn colors. Thankful for a conversation with an empathetic staff member. Thankful for smiles. Thankful for the promise that with the changing days of life, God never changes.

An Amazing Day

(I am still in El Salvador. The campaigns are nearly over. It is hard to believe.)

Tonight was amazing. Life is interesting. Nearly all the day I was tired and grumpy. Tonight as we left for the church it was pouring rain. And I was just so tired. We got to the church and nearly no one was there because of the rain. We still had 20 visitors but a bus bringing a bunch of people including around 10 visitors didn't come. So a lot of people were not there. I was just so tired and trying desperately to energize myself. And I was unsure how the message was going to go. I didn't practice as much as I usually do. But I prayed.

Everything went very well. I've been trying to always include a personal experience/make the end personal so the people feel relating to me and I am being vulnerable. I told how I ended up in El Salvador. (First plan was to go to Argentina, then Mexico, then that was changed to Nicaragua and then one spot left in El Salvador trip that I slipped in to. And God provided the money) and how God knows the plan He has for us. It is never by chance where we are. He knows our hearts and knows exactly where we are this very moment. He has a plan for us. I wasn't sure if I should share that tonight but I was praying for a story and couldn't think of another. God knew that was the story. The pastor said that really touched him. And he continued the appeal from that. Then he appealed for people to come forward who wanted to join the church. And slowly but surely 10 people came up! Praise the Lord!

The coolest part was how a couple members brought others up. They encouraged those around them. There is this lady who lives in such poverty. Her home is literally a shack. She sleeps on a stack of cardboard. She quietly got up and was encouraging a family. She could see the tears in their eyes and the conviction on their faces. She went over to them, took them by the hand and they allowed her to bring them to the front. It was powerful! I stood at the front with a huge smile, tears in my eyes and trembling lips. We need to genuinely care that people are following Jesus. We need to be encouraging each other to choose Christ. God is teaching me so much on this trip. I'm not sure how I will use it all when I go home. But I am convinced that is why I came here: to learn and to use these experiences wherever I end up. God has His hand writing a story for me. I'm just not sure the next chapters. But I want to be faithful.

So my grumpy day became one of the most blessed experiences ever. Satan wanted me down, grumpy and tired. But God prevailed! Praise the Lord! I am so thankful! I will never forget this ever.

God is so good. He is all we need.

In Spite of Myself

"Lord, don't let me stand in the way of Your work. Don't let me be a hindrance. Lord, in spite of myself, please use me as Your instrument."

This was my prayer this evening before standing up to preach. This was the burden on my heart. You see, as I sat there waiting to take the stage and present the Word of God, realization of my own failings was before me. I realized that today, I had not been faithful as a Christian. And in a flash of horror, I realized that I could misrepresent the Word of God I am presenting and the proper actions of a Christian. Thus, my prayer.

I am in El Salvador with Southern's Evangelistic Resource Center. I am preaching an evangelistic series. I don't speak Spanish so I am working with a translator who is the pastor of the local church that I am at. The series is nearly 1/2 over which is very hard to believe.

This has been an adventure and I am still in disbelief that I am actually here. I never would have thought I would do this. I never really thought I literally could do this. But God has had other thoughts and other plans for me.

I stood up the first night with fear and trembling. In spite of myself, I stepped forward in faith that Christ would bless my willingness. And He has! In spite of my natural self, He is using and blessing me beyond my imagination. It is still a struggle. I still get nervous. But the clarity of the Word of God is encouraging. The encouragement of others is priceless. And the blessings have been extraordinary. I don't plan on becoming an evangelist. But I am seeing that fear is never a reason to not do God's work. I am naturally fearful and timid. Slowly but mercifully God is breaking down those barriers. I am so grateful.

There are some heavy topics still to be preached in the next week and few days. Truth is cutting. The Word of God is nothing to be trifled with. I have a new appreciation and respect for God's word. I admire and am learning so much about how the church's here in El Salvador are growing. My perspective on life will be different when I return to the U.S. What God is preparing me for, I am not entirely sure. But I pray that I will have eyes open for the opportunities He wants me to see and the path He has laid for me.

El Salvador is a poor city. Today I saw a boy asleep on the sidewalk. A lady in the church lives in a dilapidated shack. The city is dangerous. Nearly every store has an armed guard standing outside the entrance. It is a different world. And yet it is so similar. Because humans are the same, the world over.

It is so encouraging to come here and have family- the church family. They have welcomed me with smiles and hearty greetings every night. Even when we can't speak many actual words between us, their gestures speak volumes. It is so touching. The children are especially loving and adorable.

I am being challenged here. I feel unworthy to present these Bible truths and yet God is teaching me that there is no qualification for presenting the Word of God other than a heart for Jesus. I pray that my sincerity and love for Jesus will radiate through every message. I am challenged by preparing the messages as well. Each message I am trying to include an experience or an application to my own life to share with those listening. I am reminded every night about how God loves me and has worked in my life through the years. I am so thankful for Jesus! I am also challenged to be faithful to the messages I am presenting.

Like tonight, I was called to be faithful to the messages and the life I was representing. I had fallen short today. But praise the Lord, the grace of Jesus that I am presenting is real, and He blessed in tonight's presentation....in spite of myself.

Blessings from El Salvador!