In Spite of Myself

"Lord, don't let me stand in the way of Your work. Don't let me be a hindrance. Lord, in spite of myself, please use me as Your instrument."

This was my prayer this evening before standing up to preach. This was the burden on my heart. You see, as I sat there waiting to take the stage and present the Word of God, realization of my own failings was before me. I realized that today, I had not been faithful as a Christian. And in a flash of horror, I realized that I could misrepresent the Word of God I am presenting and the proper actions of a Christian. Thus, my prayer.

I am in El Salvador with Southern's Evangelistic Resource Center. I am preaching an evangelistic series. I don't speak Spanish so I am working with a translator who is the pastor of the local church that I am at. The series is nearly 1/2 over which is very hard to believe.

This has been an adventure and I am still in disbelief that I am actually here. I never would have thought I would do this. I never really thought I literally could do this. But God has had other thoughts and other plans for me.

I stood up the first night with fear and trembling. In spite of myself, I stepped forward in faith that Christ would bless my willingness. And He has! In spite of my natural self, He is using and blessing me beyond my imagination. It is still a struggle. I still get nervous. But the clarity of the Word of God is encouraging. The encouragement of others is priceless. And the blessings have been extraordinary. I don't plan on becoming an evangelist. But I am seeing that fear is never a reason to not do God's work. I am naturally fearful and timid. Slowly but mercifully God is breaking down those barriers. I am so grateful.

There are some heavy topics still to be preached in the next week and few days. Truth is cutting. The Word of God is nothing to be trifled with. I have a new appreciation and respect for God's word. I admire and am learning so much about how the church's here in El Salvador are growing. My perspective on life will be different when I return to the U.S. What God is preparing me for, I am not entirely sure. But I pray that I will have eyes open for the opportunities He wants me to see and the path He has laid for me.

El Salvador is a poor city. Today I saw a boy asleep on the sidewalk. A lady in the church lives in a dilapidated shack. The city is dangerous. Nearly every store has an armed guard standing outside the entrance. It is a different world. And yet it is so similar. Because humans are the same, the world over.

It is so encouraging to come here and have family- the church family. They have welcomed me with smiles and hearty greetings every night. Even when we can't speak many actual words between us, their gestures speak volumes. It is so touching. The children are especially loving and adorable.

I am being challenged here. I feel unworthy to present these Bible truths and yet God is teaching me that there is no qualification for presenting the Word of God other than a heart for Jesus. I pray that my sincerity and love for Jesus will radiate through every message. I am challenged by preparing the messages as well. Each message I am trying to include an experience or an application to my own life to share with those listening. I am reminded every night about how God loves me and has worked in my life through the years. I am so thankful for Jesus! I am also challenged to be faithful to the messages I am presenting.

Like tonight, I was called to be faithful to the messages and the life I was representing. I had fallen short today. But praise the Lord, the grace of Jesus that I am presenting is real, and He blessed in tonight's presentation....in spite of myself.

Blessings from El Salvador!